beaches !! palm trees !!! blue sea !!!! ohhhhhhhh......

hey ppl...me off to another AIESEC conference (actually my 2nd one ;>)... so yeh no bloggin till 5th july !! bt u bet ! i'm gonna have loads of stories, gossips n some amazin moments to share wid u all (dose who care to read it) wen i come back....leavin at 6.30 tom mornin (tooooo early !!)...chd to delhi..den delhi to mumbai ..n den on sunday, we wud finally reach GOAAAA !!! yeh, d conference is in goa !! oh man..i'm jus so excited ..i knw its gonna be f*ckin hot in goa at dis time of d year !! bt who cares..an AIESEC conference it is !!!!!!!!! loads of fun in n d travellin part too i hope :) ..oh ya' i jus can't write anythin else...gt to shop bfore i leave..some beach wear ;) ;) ....take care..i'll be back soon !!!!n as kd puts it - adios !

ME HAPPY !!!

me Happy

still need an explaination

me happy

isnt all dat matters...

..

jus sorry, jus smile

me happy

grudges gone - one while

me happy

..

me happy

dat song made

me happy

bt not paid..

..

happy..happy..

words..no more..

jus a smiley :)

in d core

me happy !!!

........

" random post = me happy :) "

is Silence always Golden ????

is silence really golden !!! huh ?? well fr d past few days, i've been thru things that've totally made understand that silence brings nothin else dan crap to u !!!

being an ambivert, i take sometime to open up wid ppl...bt still i never complain to dem on their face..even if i feel bad abt somethin....bt hey...jus gt to knw now dat its better off to slap off wateva crap ppl give u..jus don accept it ....

as my elder bro always said "in life, jus don take crap frm anyone !!! d only ones who can r ur parents ..dey gt da right to do dat..frm anyone else..no way ~!!!! "

n now i realise how correct he was ~~!! u cant jus expect ppl to be sensible enough to judge wats right n wats wrong !! wat to say ...wat not..!! wat to do..wat not !!!! coz dey're not u n u're not dem !!!
bt still, i guess keepin ur cool is fine till a certain extent..bt if u wanna keep quiet bcoz u wanna avoid stuff messin up, no use...it's gonna get more messed up anyways !!! ha....u try ur best to accept things as they come...thus expectin that to happen at ur time too !! bt hey, ppl jus knw how to give crap..to take it - they're pretty smart at it !! coz they won't !!!

i wish life was jus a WWE ring...where punches..kicks..n slams did d talkin...nothin else !!! keepin on knockin out each other....
in life too..ppl hit u where it hurts d most...bt d one who hits d most is not d one who wins..its d one who hits d last !!!....."chokeslam"...

"crap - ppl love givin it..accept it or not..upto u !!!"

Be a Rebel !!!!

Change is definitely d flavour of life !!! "Change"...Indeed...d word itself sounds so refreshin to me....n i jus cant live without it !!!
life wud be so borin without it..so monotonous...n somewhere down the line it affects our efficieny too..to a gr8 extent i guess...life bcomes borin..so does d work..u feel lazy all d time..no motivation..no enthu...n yeh, den u jus don knw how time passes by n haven't even done a single bit of wat u planned to !!! n dis feelin of guilt is jus so not good..................

well....i always do things that aren't everyone's favourite....i hate to do things dat're common...ha..dat's y i hate to wear d common branded clothes...coz they all gt d same pattern..n man i'm so fussy abt it !! y shudn't we ?? we got to look different frm others...we gt to feel different..we got to BE different !!!!!!

for past quite sometime, i was feelin as if d time wheel has jus skipped past a few decades...dis borin monotonus life made me feel so OLD !!! yeh..old..dats d word..funny i knw...
so as always...a strange idea cropped up in my mind !!! i knw dis idea wud jus not be easily digestable by my family....naah !!! dey wudnt jus accept !! bt as always i'm d one to cut d ribbon...coz u knw, it's always d first time....
so after i guess 18 yrs, i got short hair...yeh..almost d same as i had wen i was two...ha..i looked strange fr d first few days...i mean yeh, wasnt used to dis look of myself !!!
won't go into d religious intracacies of shud i have or shud i haven't done it..bt in d end, yeh i was happy...n dats wat matters....coz if i'm happy, i can keep others happy around me...took sometime fr my parents to digest it..to get used to seein me without my manes....
d main concern of my parents was my turban !! dey feared i wud move away frm my culture..my identity...ha...bt dat wud never happen ??
sometimes its kinda funny (n frustratin too, wen u'e asked d same question 10 times a day)..dat y i gt my hair cut wen i'm still gonna wear my turban....maybe dey think i did it fr d looks..huh !! wat else can embellish a person's personality n looks more dan wat a nicely tied turban does !! i love my turban n my culture !! proud to be a TURBANATOR !!!

obvioulsy, my rebelious acts arent gonna get me a garland of roses frm my relatives bt i guess i've kinda stopped carin abt it...who's gt d time to think on dese things...live d way u feel comfortable without troublin or harmin others...wat's d fuss !!!

ha..i kinda feel somewat statisfied n content of all d things i've done..most of which my family was against, in d beginnin bt yeh, wid time, wen dey gt to see d reasons...dey understood....main thing being..if i believed in somethin, i followd it honestly..y to fake up things wen u don believ in dem !!

in nutshell................

"believe in wat u live for.....n live wat u believe for"

Pumpin iron !!

okie...jus a recap on d task list .. :

• MBA prep (wud dat ever start !!!??) ---- na still not started !!!!!
• Guitar (ah..now dats wat i'm gonna do, dis summer of 06) --- jus playin songs all day !!
• Vocals (jus afraid my neighbours won't lodge a complain against me..) --- started a bit
• Gym (srry keerti..bt i really wanna build up a bit !! dis aint enough..) -- yipeeeE !!!!
• @ --- ah..workin on a 30 page doc. i was expected to submit decades back..still workin..
• Programin (i knw dat's jus not me bt i wanna excel in web development !! ) -- naaH ~!!
• Readin (ha..now dat i'm gettin used to it..d pace needs to be worked upon ! ) -- wen will i get my library card issued !!!!!!

oh k..so it's not dat i havent started doin work !! actually ya..kinda correct till yesterday...bt today..i did work..a lot..okie..if not a lot !!..quite much of it !!!..even though i woke up at 9 a.m. (dat sucks !!!really..u feel as if almost half d day is gone..rest u waste cursin y u woke up soo late !!)....i thought not of doin d 'cursin' thing again..so, i decided to live my day fr 12 hrs. today..9a.m. to 9 p.m...maybe dat cud work out better...!! atleast wud be easier to keep a track of it !! so i started off wid my vocal riyaaz (even though it wasn't early mornin, wen it's suppose to be done..moreover everyone's still asleep n won't get to hear ur 1 hour long "saaaa.."..lolzz)..still went ahead n did it..rest of d day majorly went in preparin d 30 page @ doc...oh man..it really made me go crazy !! n yeh, i discovered features i never had ever seen bfore in MS-Word !! wow..its not jus a text editor guys !!

evenin...enjoyed d rainy weather outside (yeh..i did waste time !!!)...wat else do u do wen dere's an unexpected downpour after a >40 degree celsius afternoon...after i realised i'd jus wasted abt 1/4 th of my 12 hr. day today..thought it's time to go to d gym n get out my frustrations on those stubborn weights !!! n hey i didnt tell u abt my new gym !!!!! my task list no.4 !! - see i told you i've started workin on it !!!

okie..so dis gym dat i jus joined 2 days back..supposedly charges me 150 bucks more dan others coz it's an "air conditioned" gym...which i never noticed it is !! ha..dey keep all d windows n doors open to prevent suffocation..so how do u knw if d ac's workin or not !! den d owner..a 21-22 yr old hunk...who's gt this bulgin bt loose biceps (dat really looks pathetic)..always seen talkin to those 'pretty' chicks in d gym..pretty is my imagination once dey shed those extra pounds !! n dat's gonna take quite sometime !!

d ambience..d music..d machines r all good...bt those posters on d walls !!! oh man !! i'm used to d pics of d guys wid dis enormous build up..dat wud even put dat stupid green colored monster "HUNK" to shame !!...bt still dat's tolerable...bt right next to those pics, u see the pics of 'female' bodybuilders !!!! patheeeeeetttttiiiiiiccccc !!!!!!!! seriously pathetic man...barely covered body..n those perfectly flexed up muscles !! wid those bulgin out nerves frm each n every point...eeeeeewwwwwwwww !!!! that's like totally horrible..don knw y dey gt them dere !! d guys won't get inspired by them (maybe a bit pumped up!!) n d grls !! ha..dey'll be more dan thankful, once dey get themselves into dat 36-26-36 shape...dey don deisre much !!!! bt there're a few exceptions too !! grls who seem to have a fine physique !! bt still workin out so much !! well d females here aren't dat health freak too !! sometimes i guess, d owner doesnt charge dem ..at all !! maybe he's jus gt dem to attract d guys !!!!! who knws man !! everythin's fair in love n business !!!! or maybe dey're jus dere fr some guy huntin !! cud be !! naaaaahh !!!!

bt d best part abt good n spacious gyms is dat..all along d walls dey gt dese huge mirrors....n d funniest part..esp. wid d new ones...includin me too...jus after dey do a set (dat's like 12 repititions of some exercise)...dey'll go n stand close to d mirror n start shapin up their muscles..as if those 12 reps/1 set would've made those '1-2-3 kids' into 'hulk hogan'...wid some guys, it's not jus a habit bt a problem..a fascination...jus 5 mins of exercise n next 30 mins..u see dem admirin their own body in frnt of d mirror !! not d case wid d new ones bt some 'macho' guys too who'll clean off d whole gym wen dey gt to work out...won't even leave a single weight fr u !! coz dey jus can't have enough !!!.....bt anyone hardly cares abt dem or deir magnificently articulated body structure as soon as those "a bit over weight" damsels step into d gym !! ha..dat's d way it is !! okie..i guess i wrote quite a lot..!! so let me stop it here !!

hopin tomorrow turns out to be brighter, productive n stressed out...n yeh, early too !!!!!

" tomorrow never dies.. "

phew !!! ready..get..set..go !!! ???

oh k...so finally i gt rid of everythin..exams..college n placements (fr atleast next 1 month)..so now d actual race starts...race against time..race against success...race against achievement..a race against myself !!!
d whole plan's ready..d strategies r in !! d priorities set out :

• MBA prep (wud dat ever start !!!??)
• Guitar (ah..now dats wat i'm gonna do, dis summer of 06)
• Vocals (jus afraid my neighbours won't lodge a complain against me..)
• Gym (srry keerti..bt i really wanna build up a bit !! dis aint enough..)
• @ (gt to get things goin..wud i be able to do it ???!! make a difference !??)
• Programin (i knw dat's jus not me bt i wanna excel in web development !! )
• Readin (ha..now dat i'm gettin used to it..d pace needs to be worked upon ! )

okie..so in d list it doesnt seem to be much..bt it's a mammoth tasklist..trust me on dat !!!!...neways...gt to do it anyhow...dis summer i wanna party..i wanna travel bt only after i've earned it..wen i really sweat it out n die fr a break !!! ..

so...enough of talkin..talkin n talkin...lets jus get down wid it !!!

"Let's get it started !!!!!"

EXAMS...perfect time for introspection !!

ah...it's again dat time of d year which freaks out all d engg. nerds !! d same scene everywhere...library fully occupied like a "kisaan mandi" (i knw dat didnt make sense)..all around u see ppl wid piles of books in dere hands...ready wid their gOoGLe glasses..all set to conquer d world !! yeh..for dem, d world starts from "rrigation engineerin" n ends on "structural design"...don gt scared..dese r jus 2 of d annoyin subjecs we gt in our civil engg. course !! ...
bt for me..."exam time" means d time to introspect..even though i hate dis time of d sessions as much as i hate "baingan" (brinjal)....bt still, i don knw if its d fear of d exams or d results dat makes me think of evrythin else bt studies !!
jus a week bfore exams..i feel so geared up..so much motivated to be "somethin" in life..to get up n claim my space on dis planet...to show ppl i'm not jus another straw in d haystack !! mind u, dis has nothin to do wid my studies !!
d exams r gonna get over in another 10 days..n den after another month..we'll be havin our campus placements...some of India's biggest technical firms comin down to our college for recruitements !! n i jus don wanna be there wid d same CV in my hand which starts wid "ur name, father's name" n ends on a fake, exaggerated 2 line motivation letter for statin d reason y i want to work in dat specific firm !! ...i jus wanna do somethin different !! somethin big !! everyone wants to ...bt in d end, d ppl who succeed r d ones who go ahead n do it !! not jus dreamin abt it all day long..
being brought up in a conservative middle class indian family, it's not unusual dat u're studyin in one of d best engineerin colleges of d country even if u hate engineerin..n u've started peparin fr MBA bcoz dat's wat wud further scale up ur pay even bfore u start workin !! so first u load up urself wid all kind of tech. degrees..loads of certificates n all..u're 23 yrs..n now u've gt to jus somehow get into a big MNC which wont be tough if u've done all dis frm reputed institutions..n den, jus sit there in ur cabin...work frm 8 am to god knows wat time !! collect d fat salary cheque every first week of d month..n get to spend all dat money wid ur family in dose 10-15 holidays u'd get, if any, in d whole year !!
i jus don wanna live dat monotonous kinda life..money's not everythin...yeh, i realized it after being 20, dat dere's a world, more colorful n more beautiful dan " fleet of mercedes sedans" n "big mansions in d most posh area of d town".....
n i knw to make ur dreams a reality, it's gonna take much more dan jus sheer luck or plain hardwork !! u need a deadly combo of both !!
n as Robin Sharma beautifully puts up in his blog...
here's an excerpt :

"Easy to forget that successful people didn't just wake up that way. They started off ordinary - with a goal - and then focused on the daily small steps required to reach it. And as the days slipped into weeks and the weeks into months and the month into years, their dream became more alive. Each day, they practice.
So....devote to practice.
-practice getting up at 5 am each day. It'll get easier (that's what practice does).
-practice being more positive and passionate
-practice being more spectacular at what you do at work (good question: “how would you show up at work if you were the best in the world at what you do?” Start working toward that and your career will skyrocket (how could it not?)
-practice being kinder and more patient
-practice enriching your mind and knowledge base by reading for an hour each day
-practice balancing work and your personal life
-practice getting super fit
Nothing wonderful ever comes without practice"

i'm gonna sweat it out dis summer...ha..wat else wud u expect wen it's over 45 degrees celsuis...okie..no PJ's...seriously, gt to do somethin ...had enough jus being a part of d crowd..now it's time to get ppl crowded up fr u !! i still don knw wat dat "somethin" is dat i'm preparin for !! bt fr sure..i'll be prepared !!!

"Nothing happens until you move."

Thanx for being dere...always...

he's d one who's always been there for me...listened to all my thoughts..all my complaints..all my wishes...all my stories...no matter how much time it took, no matter how much sense i made !! he listened to it quietly...he never replied back...his actions did !!
d only one who knows me inside out !! d only one who stands by me even wen d whole world's against me...coz he knows wen i'm rite n wen i'm not !!

its kinda funny how ppl contradict his existence..bcoz those 'fools' jus dont see him...n thats y they can't even feel him..or i guess, they jus simply deny d fact !!..u can't see air, u can't see heat...bt u can feel dem..then how can't dey feel "him"...

n d way he works his wonders is jus amazin..he does wats best for u !! u'll get frustrated at him, irritated bcoz of him !! jus bcoz he doesn't work d way u want him to in d beginnin...dat's bcoz he's much more far sighted than us !! n then, in d end, after realizin..our simple "thank u" is enough to take care of all those allegations n frustrations...

i didnt have many friends...yeh, loads of class mates...batch mates...but "friends"in d true sense..extremely few..bt yeh, i gt "u"..thnx for being dere always for me...i've gt d "best buddy"..ha..n i'm more dan satisfied...yeh, u tend to trouble me sometimes bt i guess, dats ur way of helpin me to grow n learn...thnx....thnx a lot for everythin !!

P.S. : for those viewin this post..this is no 9 yr old writin a letter to god..well, wen i was datyoung, i wanted to do dat...bt where to send it ???...so now, wen we've got d technology, i don feel ashamed in postin dis msg up..d feelins r still d same as wen i was nine...now, i guess, it'll be much easier for him to read it too !! : )

:Life's good !!

ah..after so long man !! after so long, i'm happy n to be precise... "content" wid myself..wid my life..it's jus these few moments that one lives for !!

y ?? well..today somewhat went quite good, almost as i had planned..almost all tasks completed !! woke up on time...studied...had fun...completed pendin work..did @ work..helped out at d shop.everythin !! almost !! i'm not sayin it was all p[erfect but atleast i improved..improved enough dat i cud notice d change myself !!
..yesterday too...went to barista 35 all alone..was gettin bored at home..so thought of goin for a coffee..n there, obviously i met aiesec'ers as always..bt den ritam appeared somehow..i don knw after how long, did we actually have a nice long chat..seriously, friendships jus don fade away.!! n take my word on dat !! they dooon't !!!
n then jus now wen i checked my inbox..i'd recieved a mail frm maike..my first @ trainee buddy, i still remember..bt her mail !! out of d blues..ha..i guess after 2 years or so..still, it felt good to c ppl still remember me..
n recently d amazin friend circle i've developed on orkut..oh man..seriously, hardy wrote down a whole "work out" n "diet chart" for me !! parneet ,frm NID, writin mails..motivatin me...cousellin me abt designin course..seriously.. d ppl i didnt knw, a week back, they;re takin out time for me..to help me out wid my probs n all..guidin me as i've been one of their childhood pals !!..ha...life's amazin yaar...i knw, u wud be laughin after readin all this..bt these small things do matter a lot to me !! i really care for these small small things coz these r d things dat make ur life, ur time so special !!
i'm livin life " 24 hours long " finally..atleast i managed to do dat today !!...

"24 hours...long way to go..still...bt i'm happy !!! "

Five Point Someone

yeh, i knw most of u wud've read this book aptly named as "Five Point Someone" ages back..but yeh, i jus gt my hands on it yesterday..n yeh, after finishin d 280+ pages, i cud jus saw one word abt it.."amaaaazin"..seriously man, no doubt this book remains one of d hot favourites of d engineerin students !!...i mean, u can jus relate to d characters so easily..venkat, alok, ryan, hari n d ol' pesty prof's like cherian..well some good one's too like prof veera..

man, it's jus so amazin n 'relieven' too to read that book...i felt so good, i didnt try for IITs..i mean d routine..d attitude..d stuff..jus not d place for me !!!
yup, n moreover d thought d author delivers in d end "life isnt jus abt being a good GPA scorer but being a good person"..n 'm so proud of myself, dat i've followed dis golden rule, most of d times...
College life is d time wen u're grown up...enough to do all kind of crazy stuff !! but still, young enough, to not worry abt d consequences...obviously, it's time to experiment wid urself...ah..not wid ur career bt yeh, wid ur attitude..wid ur self..so dat, u can find out urself wat's good n wat's not for u !!!...
n yeh, even after screwin up..i guess to d max. extent dat one cud, d trio - alok, ryan n hari still managed to get all that they wanted...yup..it's d end dat matters..doesnt matter how u reach it, till d time u're fully aware of wat u're doin n ready to take d responsibilty for it !!

ah..man...i was so glad after all of them "lived happily ever after.." supposedly !!....i cudnt jus stop dancin n celebratin...i was into d story, so much !! n yeh, i knw i'm writin this for d 10th time ..again..but yeh ...i enjoyed it....

"learn frm d past, prepare for d future...but yeh, don forget to live d present"

It's Now or Never !!!

wat !!!
yeh..u read it correctly "It's Now or Never"....let's c....keep waitin till then !!!

"It's Now or Never - that's it"

'Sorry' seems to be the hardest word ..!

i don knw y i was feelin d way i was !!..it happens sometimes, but i really never get to knw y so !!...so as always, yeh..i mishbehaved...i was rude...n then after sometime, i realized that..but then, had a strange inhibition that didnt let me accept my fault...but then, musterin up some courage, i did say 'Sorry'...dis magical word's jus so relievin...not only did it geta smile on their faces but it made me feel much more comfortable n at ease...
i knw dis post wudn't make any sense to u, but i felt so nice abt it..so i jus posted it up here..njoi..

"never too late to accept ur mistake..i'm happy i didnt delay it much !!.."

Guitar Vs. Girlfriend

was jus goin to my guitar class after almost a decade today..okie..thats too exaggerated..maybe after 2 months..n don knw from where this wierd analogy started croppin up in my head btw a Guitar n a Girlfriend...

first of all, the similarities :

• both start wid a "G" !! ..yeh i knw thats a silly one...
• u're jus too excited wen u're in the initial stages...but wid time, it gets borin !!
• best time to hang out with them is after 10 p.m....in each other's arms..light breeze.. starry sky...hmmm...
• no matter how carin u be everytime..they need to be tuned everytime...again..again n again !!
• if u don play well, be prepared to face the noisy stuff !!
• u electrify them n jus be ready to get rOcK'eD...
• best pose to get a pic clicked wid them ...obviously..in each others' arms..
• Black on them jus looks amazin.. !!!
• u enjoy showin them off in front of ur friends !! yeh, some ppl do it buddy ..!!

yup..those were the major similarities, i could think of..

n now the differences :

• d guitar never asks u " how am i lookin today? " or " i've lost weight na?? "..wen u hold it..
• for a guitar, initial investment is a bit more but incurring expenses r hardly anythin..for a girlfriend..i don think u need an explanation...
• ur mom doesnt raise an eyebrow wen u go out at 11 p.m. wid ur guitar to barista...
• if u're gettin bored..u can take ur guitar to d boy's hostel n practice...aaan..u can think abt for the other case !!
• Guitar doesn't have a wierd fetish for Chocolates !!

ah..i knw there r a lot many..but i guess i've put up all d main ones..if u got any do post a remark...i'll update the post...

so ..all u guys who're single..n depressed !!..jus go n get urself a nice Guitar..i gaurantee, u'll be more than satisfied !!!

"strummmmmm...."

azaad...but the battle's just begun...

well...jus gt free from my sessional exams today..yup.."azaad"..thats how i feel..but this time i know i've screwed it up all..i jus didnt do good..n i'm sure, the marks r gonna speak that out...
so..the battle's begun again !!!..i'm gonna study regularly now..even though jus 1 month left for the finals, i'm gonna get it this time..bcoz this is the last semseter, where i can really score n improve my percentage...so i won't miss it this time!!!!
that doesnt mean i'm gonna compromise on guitar, AIESEC, MBA prep, gym or anythin else...i'm jus gonna make the day longer..yeh..i'm gonna make these "24 hours" longer..if not in all, i'm gonna get perfection in many of them!! n thats not impossible, as many say !! i'm gonna prove it !!! thats y i put it up here on d blog..so that i can prove, 'i do wat i say'...

"jack of all trades but master of none - dat ain't me"

mr. lonely..

Lonely
I'm Mr Lonely,
I have nobody,
For my owwnnn
I'm so lonely,
I'm Mr. Lonely
I have nobody,
For my owwnnn
I'm so lonely.

its kinda funny...coz i take quite sometime before i can open up wid ppl, they mistake me for an introvert, while it's jus the prob i generally face in breakin up d ice wid a new group of ppl...many think, i like to be alone..lonely !!!...n i hate that..to be lonely !! but quite ironically, thats wat i've been for past some time..actually quite sometime...definitely not been that easy...been thru those sleepless nites..been thru those crappy days...been thru those moments of sudden outbursts of emotions..been thru all that.. but now, i feel a lot more mature...a lot more grown up...n a much less "lonely" !!! ...its not that bad to be wid urself all d time...it's good company if u try n make it one..esp. wen u got no other option...n wat better place than barista..u've got good music..u've got good coffee..u've got the best company..yeh, urself !!!...n even if that doesn't satisy one, then i guess the black acoustic guitar makes up for it... being so optimistic, i can't really overshadow the stress one goes thru...but yeh, one thing i realized durin this phase is...it gives u time to focus all ur attention on urself, which earlier was divided among some damn lucky fellows ; ) ...it gives u time to introspect..time to improve..time to work upon...time to make u better..a better individual...n that i guess would make the future times more memorable...more enjoyable...jus more n more….

auuuugggghhhhh .....

yeh...my blood's jus boilin rite now..thought maybe bloggin could help....wat happened ???..the old usual thing !!! another fierce argument wid the parents....n yeh, as always they're complainin n never satisfied....i remember, once carol had told me that if i did all wat my parents wanted me to, they wouldn't complain abt wat i do the rest of d time...but sorry sis, they jus proved u wrong today.....
for the past, i guess, 4 months there's been a tremendous decline in the no. of late night parties/ nite-outs i've done.. i've been much much more regular n punctual at the shop..i've tried to help as much as i can, wenever they asked me too...to be honest, i have really matured a lot wen it comes to my responsibilities towards my parents n my family....it's not that i'm blabbering that i'm doin great favours to them...but atleast i'm tryin my best to do, all that they expect me to...
but still, it's jus not enough for them...don't knw, but they're never satisfied...jus wen i ask for a small favour, it's never done in time !!! n that's jus the thing that i can't tolerate...if i live upto d expectations ppl have from me, i expect the same from them...
but still, i get to listen the same old things...that i don care abt anyone else..i'm enjoyin everythin - my college life n all...n i don care for anyone else..neither my parents, my family...not even my grandpa..ha...it's so simple for them to say stuff...but yeh, it's jus too hurtin for an emotional fool like me....................................................
i knw they love me a lot..but i wish they cud understand me better...i wish...

"i tried so hard n got so far, but in the end..it doesn't even matter"

Biddin' adieu to Civil ' 02

"time flies by" n yeh, u never get to knw...not bein cliche' but it really seems like a few days back, we got a freshers party from our seniors..almost 2 years over..n now, we bid farewell to them...no doubt, i hardly know 10% of them, but still 1 thing's for sure, it's gonna be a bit strange without them...hardly a month more n they'll be gone...whom wud we ask - how to make projects, how to handle those "nerd" professors..how to get thru those endless days/weeks of placement exams n interviews until we taste success in one..
but, chal...everyone's got to move ahead in life... n i wish the best for them...
however...the "farewell party" today was jus awesome..even more than that...somethin's were still the same like me not gettin off the dance floor bfore the DJ got out of his cabin..yeh, may sound funny, but for me its jus too hard to get off the floor wid the music still playin on...even if the DJ jus belt out irritatin n endless numbers of himesh reshamiya, the beats were good enough to keep me goin... as always, i did my rituals to have a few sips of d alcoholic stuff.. don't knw but curiosity jus makes me have it everytime..but then, its jus a few sips n moreover, drinks don work neways..but yeh, good music makes me high for sure..
the "sugar cubes" thingie didnt work much here as they do at AIESEC conferences..i guess, ppl aren't that expressive here..that's y...
n jus wen all the goodbye handshakes were done, jus ready to go..ankur goes to click a pic of the Police Station..wierd, i knw..i also don knw y he did that...but yeh, as quite obvious, the police constables were quite angry wid that flash on their faces..."say cheese" couldn't have worked for them either..n to make it worse, the sub inspector took his camera inside...bcoz he wanted to take out the film from the camera...yeh, from a Digi-Cam..n that technology is jus wid chandigarh police..ha...
but yeh, wen they were over wid all their "moral lectures" n a few signatures on some application, they let him go...i guess, they had their share of entertainment too..
chalo, all's well that end's well...yup...except for my terrible bodyache i got..but still, 5 hours of non stop music, masti n dance r certainly worth much more than that....ahan ???

"CIVIL ROCKS"

certainly, no doubt on that one

Times change...so do most of the things ...

seeing her after so long...was a bit tough gettin my mind off her...even if, it was jus a glimpse of her, it seemed like a long 3-hour bollywood film...almost being together, playiin together n virtually livin together for almost 2 yrs as tiny tots...n today, she didnt even recognize me..or even if she did, wasn't evident...
don knw...times have certainly changed n so has the attitude...
being so close to each other..the best of pals..in those days of innocence...my mom used to actually call her my "girlfriend"..n yeh i was jus 3 yrs old...
but as always, good times don't last for long..otherwise u wouldn't get to knw their worth !!
so after shiftin over to a new place...i didnt meet her for next 6-7 yrs..n wen we did actually meet up again...we both were grown up enough...that feelin of being mature or jus actin mature, didnt actually let me open up..be at the same comfort level with her....
today, after i saw her (in that amazin pink tee) i kinda realized wat i had lost...n yeh, this kind of a feelin is not a common one for me...
her face was still the same...round n a bit chubby as always...those big eyes filled wid the same magnetism...everythin seemed to be jus too familiar...was jus like as if i see her everyday..she hadn't changed much...except for the way she carried her..she wasn't a 3 yr old kid now...a lot changes in 17 years..her feminine aroma was all in the air..the svelte'ness in her walk..oh k..i don wanna get carried away again...
but yeh..i wanna meet her again..i wanna laugh ,on the silly things we did as kids..i still wanna share all my things with her...i wanna see her again..

"Just because u loved someone doesnt mean u have to involved with them.

Love is not a bandage to cover up d wounds."

n hey..it was jus a quote...don think i'm in love !!#$%&^*$

Dear God....

hmm..was jus goin thru a mail neharika'd sent..containin few "letters to GOD" written by small kids...well, the letters did in the first instance, reflect the sheer innocence of those kids...but yeh, this letter except being very innocently n sweetly written by a 6-7 yr. old, made me ponder over the thought of - "how busy we get in our race with time, that we jus forget to live, love n enjoy with our family"...jus for few momentary pleasures n happiness..we tend to forget n ignore those who're gonna stick up with us n share d same warmth n love no matter wat , thru all d thick n thins of fate... give it a thought ....

tere bin...

simply an amazin song...originally sung by rabbi, it's not the first song that i learnt on the guitar but yeh my all-time favourite.. no doubt, whenevr i pick up my guitar for practice, i somehow unconsciously start playin it's chords...whether sittin alone or wid d whole group of friends...depressed or in the best of my moods...jus love to play this song...

n as the song goes "tere bin sanu sohnia, koi hor nahio labhna" , i don think , i'll ever find another song as beautiful n rich as this one...

so wenver u wanna get high..sing n play it along on ur guitar...works for me !!

here's it goes....n for those of u who don't understand punjabi..there's the translation for it too..

tere bin / besides you
sanu sohnia / my love
koi hor nahio labhna / i shan't find another
jo deve / who'll give
ruh nu sakun / peace to my soul
chukke jo nakhra mera / and indulge me
ve main sare ghumm ke vekhia / i have gone and seen it all
amrika , roos, malaysia / america, russia, malaysia
kittey vi koi fark si / there wasn't any difference
har kise di koi shart si / they all had some condition
koi mangda mera si sama / some asked for my time
koi hunda surat te fida / some were fascinated with my face
koi mangda meri si vafa / some demanded my fidelity
na koi mangda merian bala / none wanted my demons
tere bin / besides you
hor na kise / no one else
mangni merian bala / wanted my demons
tere bin / besides you
hor na kise / no one else
karni dhup vich chhaan / shall shade me in the sun ......

" jus live it high "