tasting Failure...

ah...bck in blogosphere aftr so long..yea...nw i onli come bck, wen its an extreme case of emotions :p !! ha..u can easily guess it frm my earlier posts...

well..nthin much...jus hv tasted failures...failures..n more failures in d past few weeks...or months..so jus wantd to share, hw it tastes like...so dat, maybe u can cook urself a better life...n nt mess it all up as i've been doing till nw...

wen u hv all d things fresh n raw...all ingredients 'ready to cook' for a perfect life...u still r thinkin...'gosh...there's somethin missin'...so its time, fr some experimentation !! ha...dere u go...one lead by another..failure n failure n d whole castle of ur dreams...made of deck of cards, comes dwn, jus by a lil' wind of experimentation! 'u askd fr it ! nw pay!!'..isnt dis hw its always supposed to be...it is na !!

failure isnt dat bitter either...u gt to learn so much frm dem...so its jus like 'boiled rice'...ha..wen u frgt to put salt in dem, while cookin...yea, i did dat tday :p ...so u dn like d taste fr sure, bt u dont strongly hate it or leave it either...coz u knw, its imp to satisfy ur hunger (fr learning) !!
failure in career, failure in relationships, failure in family, failure in everythin around...doesnt hurt u dat much...as failure in understanding / failure due to underestimating ur ownself...n failure due to cheatin on ur own self does !!!!

i've tasted it all i guess....guess, its holiday time nw ! so, time fr some change...time fr a new 'pReeT' !! time fr a new me...a 'me' dat 'i' love(s)...a 'me' dat 'i' have(has) always wanted !..after all, u always gt in life, if ur desire is really strong !! .....n it is always a "happy ending" in d end...bollywood eshhtyle :) :)

".....warna...picture abhi baaki hai dost :) :) .........."

Renaissance

Time to go against the tide !!! time to build a path...not follow the old one...

this is the time...

this is it........

I dreamt a dream...

a subtle mock aimed at the youth of our nation...who talk talk talk about the problems that exist..about the easy solutions that aren't just thought of !..but when it comes to action..when it comes to work with ground realities...they prefer to step back !

I dreamt a dream
of initiating a Change
to be like Gandhi
fighting Injustice’s rage

The journey would be tough
that I wanted to make
Self denial and Sacrifice needed
to get the Nation awake

Self Thought process is only
that I could Initiate
Courage and Confidence
i failed to Substantiate

Criticise and complain
I did all day long
to Overlook my actions
point out what others did wrong

I had enough excuses
to content my soul
never began on the journey
just kept Boasting about my goal

I am the youth of INDIA
I, the nation’s Future Leader
I Crib, Criticise, Complain all the time
just a Hollow, flamboyant speaker

Without efforts, we dream so big
sounds quite inapt and strange
the Dream would remain a dream
of Initiating a Change
the Dream would remain a dream
of Initiating a Change

- preet

" Connect...Discuss...and Initiate....Don wait for a revolution to come on its own"

i can feel d 'inner smile'

so so so..hw've u been ! i'm kinda happy today :) reason ?! do u really need one !~maybe its just that..i'm gettin used to d fact that i've to stay for more time at infosys..n also as raghav says, i cud find "opportunity in diversity" ! so what if its an IT firm..and i hate coding! i cud still find somethin out !!
Already had a talk wid the HR ppl here...n i'm all set to start my Yuva Forum here too,in the mysore campus... !!!
Also, from today onwards, i've started 'tryin' to implement, the time management techniques!well...i almost did all dat i'd thought of doin tday !!...n dat really makes me a lot morehappy and content !!!
n esp. for my unknown friends like kenysha , i jus wanna tell dem, dat my low times are nthin butrandom mood swings..so need not wrry dude !

i'm here to rock d wrld !!! wont leave so sooon ;)

"i'm gonna rock u soon! doesnt make sense..still keep waitin :)"

Random mOOOd sWinGs !~!!!!!

jus another one of dose random moooood swings !! n i so hate dem !!!!! y y y !? i never used to hv dem earlier! is it jus a part of growin up...if it is, i dn wanna grow up !!! i dn want dis kinda life !

bt is dere any use cribbin abt it !! i jus gtta gt used to it !!

in infy...at present...do coding all day..listen to lectures...den jus change n run to d gym..come bck..study more codin...den sleep bck! dis is nt d kinda life i want !!! bt do u gt wateva u ever desire fr...

bt den again..is money d onli factor dats keepin me here !! i myself dn knw...n dats basically d whole prob wid me..i never knw anythin abt my ownself!! n dat jus pisses me offf !! badly !!!!!!!!!

IT is definitely nt fr me...i wanna go bck into music..gt serious abt it ! go bck to d same old routine of gttin up at 6 n goin fr d vocal classes...singin d 'sur's' all d time...wasnt dat easy..bt still, made me content !!!!

n i guess..dats more imp in life ! being happy d way u're livin...isnt abt hw ur living , always !!!!

" earn money fr life...bt dn spend d whole life fr money...though...i've jus begun..god bless me!"

feeliiiin HIGH !!!!!!!!!! :)

i'm jus feelin so goood...yeaa !! finally d mOOd swings take a positive change !!!! n i'm on a rolll !!! yuhuuuu....danced almost fr an hour last nite...on wateva song, dat was comin on d tv !!!

maybe its d weather...d ppl...d life...d music...or its mE :p !! dn knw...n who wants to knw...i jus knw i'm happi :) :) :)

n i wish, dis feelin stays fr sometime...doesnt sink in too early !!! wat do u think !!??!?!

lets rock on !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"live life..live it high"

Infy Mysore Rocks !!!!!

finally...i'm pretty much satisfied that my decision to join Infosys Mysore DC wasn't a mistake at all !!! thoroughly enjoyin it all...i guess, it couldn't hvae been better !!!

though, initially, in d flight, d thought of being almost alone all d time...no friends..nthin!! was a bit creepy !!!

bt den...as soon as u land here....a whole gang of mumbaiya friends..shoutin "oye preeeettt'aaa" 24*7.....many of d other colleagues recognizin u...passin on smiles to u....d amazin weather...most improtantly, d beautiful campus !!!! Mysore Campus is jus awesome !!!! beautiful buildings...amazin architecture...greenery well maintained...loads n loads of facilities...gym..music room...swimmin pool..sports..rock climbing..wt nt !!!

Jus feelin a bit nostalgic...dn knw...bt yeh, my mOOd swings r on a high dese days !!! dn knw...wats in d air !!

well, d gym is on a roll...a very gud trainer...awesome equipment !! jus love it..sweatin it out in d gym, as soon as i gt free frm wrk !!

n wat else....bloggin aftr a looooooong time !! so yeh, d whole feelin...d spontaniety is missin !! yeh...big time !!

bt dn wrry...i'll be more regular frm nw on (hw many times, i've said dat :p) !!!

dis time i will ( isaid dis too :p) !!! hahaha.... :)

ciao..n i'll keep u updated abt my trainin...n ofcourse..my life :) :) :)

misss u alllllllllllllllllllll !!!!

"i walk a lonely road, d only one that i have ever known"

Still d same....

ha..strange!! bt last time..i blogged on 10th July...i was feeling d same...as i am today !!!!!!! who says Life doesnt move in circles...sometimes big ones...sometimes jus very small ones too!

"things dont change dat easily...do dey ?!"

Just a bit LOW !!

don knw...but dis strange feelin is jus creepin onto me..more n more....!! strange ..strange ...n strange !! i don like it !!!!

"low....a subtle but complex form of depression..who says??...jus me"

Inspired !

even though life doesnt seem to be on a HIGH dese days..still !! sometimes u jus feel so gud wen somethin that u jus come across incidentally, happens to Inspire u so much !!!

so be it the guitar strummin dat i got to hear, wen Alex played on his guitar tday..be it the OM theory abt healin internal & external pains, Navjot shared wid me tday...be it d random guy at d gym!...everywhr i mean !! u jus look around...n u jus see so much of talent..so much of skill...dat jus Inspires like anythin !!

Kailash kher's (d guy who sang "allah ke bande") new song 'saiyaan' is jus too amazin...everytime i hear it, its like...i wanna gt into music....inspires like anythin...to do riyaaz all day n nite !!

bt den...things around u INSPIRE...n dats exactly whr dey end too...INSPIRE !!!

wat i'll do is basically wat i gtta decide...my actions r gnna be decided by d one inside me..not around me !!

so..realli need dat much wisdom..to judge wat to gt inspired frm...n frm wat nt ! coz sometimes, d inspiration can jus be some kinda attraction..dat wud make me end up wid nothin except..some wastage of time !!!

"Wisdom...anyone wanna inspire me fr dat!!"

wHaT !!!!!

nthin....gt nthin to say...feelin quite strange..jus came to write dis bcoz u care to read all dis!! yea U !! i'm talkin to u onli !!

I've been feelin quite strange of lately!! dn knw y! again..i guess its d phase, where i feel like my Life is jus nt goin anywhr...bt all gttin messed uP!

So, i call dis phase as d one for "Reorganising my Life" !! man...heavy terms...i knw! bt i love perfection...which i wudnt gt ever...so dat makes me love it even more!!

d gym diet isnt being taken care of! hvnt practised salsa at home ever! being regular in practisin guitar is jus equal to flyin abve d clouds fr me! n frm next week, d We Volunteer wrk pressure is jus gnna increase onli!!!

I wanna be rich....i wanna make music...i wanna sing...i wanna hv a gud physique..i was be a responsible figure..i wanna initiate Change in the society...i wanna do so much !!!

waitin fr d moment...wen it won't be "i wanna...." anymore...bt "i am...."

"waitin...wud dat help?! gtta start off!"

Something's MISSING ..........

hmmm...Somethin's been missin in my life..of lately ! I always gt dis feelin aftr every 2-3 months...life starts to get monotonous! n i HATE dat feelin....

Jus can be d same always..i mean...i need some change in d way i live, aftr sometime....no new haircuts...no new clothes...hmmm...well gt a new Nokia 6300 lately, bt yeh, dat didnt satsify me i gues...

i guess...dis time its much more dan d materialistic stuff...its somethin to do wid me !! d way me livin my life !! d way meutilising my time...i mean i'm tryin to handle so much - We Volunteer, Yuva Parliament, Gym, Salsa, Guitar, Mom's shop...but still "Somethin's" MISSING !!

Please if you find dat SOMETHIN do let me knw !!

"Not lost, still MISSING"

'Entangled' ..u gt d key !

hmmm...introspectin upon my daily chores...esp. d decision making processes...d critical conditions where its either black or white...d difficult times wen it jus becomes too too easy to quit!

introspectin..introspectin..i realize..dat hw much ever 'entangled' we gt into d complications of our work..d key..d solution often lies with us onli...esp, durin my wrkin n managin of We Volunteer, i realised, dat fr every thing u wanna judge, d number of pro's n con's r jus d same...its abt wat u wanna choose....d empty half of d glass or d full one !

n to no surprise, 90% wud go fr d empty one...dat makes dem more comfortable to crib about..to find faults in..& to bitch abt..coz den dats all dey gtta do !! nthin else !!

everytime, u want to take a decision...it depends on wat u want !! its never abt wat u can do..bt its al abt wat u wanna do !!! coz wen u find a 1000 reasons nt to follow d path u wanna take, u'll find another 1000 y u shud stick to dat path onli !!

so guess....its nthin bt jus weavin a web...depends how much u wanna weave to gt ur kill...or hw much u wanna weave jus fr d sake of it !!..wont make muc sense to u...lol..i knw !

bt again...steer it as u want...nt as d road goes..d road will be laid dwn on its own! :)

"for d one who weaves d web, its nt a maze to be entangled in!"

So many things i wanna do !!

well...its not recent that i gt bit by d whole web bug !! but yeh, web 2.0 jus doesnt seem to end amazin me all d time...!!

if u knw me well..or u've been readin my blog regularly (hw come, wen i dont write regularly :p)...u knw dat i'm always into jus any n all activities...i wanna play guitar n i also wanna gym..i wanna learn dutch n i also wanna do flash! i wanna make movies n i also wanna be an entreprenuer..i wanna learn programmin n i also wanna travel..i wanna wanna wanna...

jus so much i 'wanna' do !! d list never seems to end ! n i guess dats wid everyone ! rite ??

well..jus surfin thru, in d evenin tday..came across something dat may help me in organisin myself a bit !! yeah, a bit !! coz doin wat i've been tryin to do, since d time i realised i've grown up!, wouldnt be simple enough !!

43 things.com...well dis web 2.0 site is a gr8 thing...it jus lets u put up max of 43 things u wud wanna do ! n den blog abt it..post entries..ppl can comment on dem ! u can also find others who share d same "to do things" as yours...like i found 848 others who also wanted to learn flash :)

i guess, dis new thing wud make my tedious task of organisin activites a bit more simpler n jazzier :) i mean its kinda fun onli :)

so ..jus check it out while i sort my 'things' out :)

visit : http://www.43things.com/person/preetarjun

"happy thing'ing"

i walk a lonely road..d onli one i' have ever known !

nt jus singin away d 'boulevard of broken dreams' by greenday playin in my winamp...bt somethin dat jus used to haunt me every now n den...bt no more now !~

coz nw its jus a part of wat i call "my life" ! still skeptical as to whether i jus blog it out or nt..bt den wats d harm! i knw PSV..its jus U who's gnna be readin it :) so wats d harm!

dn knw...bt dere's jus been so much of loneliness since i started growin up..coz dat time i realized u call dis lOneLineSS..i loved it..i hate'd it...i enjoyed it...i cursed it...i ran away from it...i wished for it...i wanted it badly at times...but den didnt want it to be bad...

i guess jus cudnt differentiate between privacy n loneliness....sometimes bcame an open book...but den expected the same frm others too...

tried to be a friend at its best...yet cudnt find anyone whom i cud call a best frnd...though god did bless me jus miracles at times ('k')..yet i knw, dats nt gnna be fr long either..!!

love my family...dey love me..dn knw abt isha..bt yeh, others do...still dis strange feelin of coldness...always felt away..sometimes dey did make me realise dat..sometimes i jus wanted to realise dat !...is it me ? den y is it me ? how is it me ? how i cant be dat me ?!

do i like dis loneliness...i do at times..best part of it, u expect onli "NOTHING" frm others...so u don end up gettin hurt each time..u dn care dat dey didnt inform u abt dis n dat...u dn get hurt dey didnt think of u den..

so i guess...need no friends...no family...no one...jus me cud be enough...cant take dat feelin of gttin hurt everytime...jus givin fake smiles to ur frnds...fake fake fake everywhr...sometimes jus feel so much hatred fr dis world...everyone iut dere jus fr deir own selfish reasons...n i'm too amongst dem...still hv to crib abt it...

y jus cant we live it out alone onli....i guess its either dat i'm jus gttin too used to be livin in d online websphere onli ..or jus dat i've grown up enough to analyse d crude realities of d world !

or either...i was jus plain unlucky...dat i grew so dumb..so as to choose d wrong set of frnds..whom to care for...n also nt to care, abt dose who were d true ones...huh ! so its nt a "no gain-no loss:" thingi...bt jus loss loss n more loss all d way round....wish nw i'll be able to cling onto d true ones...n jus learn hw to nt adjust wid d others...

i jus dn knw wat all crap i've written out dere tday !!! u cud even vote it fr d worst blog ever by me !!!! ....bt jus one thing i wud say...it was straight as it is frm my head n heart...all workd up...jus hd enough...enough...n enough of enough.....

"crap right frm d heart..njoi"

Fire lit again !!!!!

the fire's been lit again....n i'm back !!!!!!!!!!! :) jus feels to so good, once again, to be able to pour my feelins out on dis notepad..feels gr8, once again, to be able to share my highs n lows of d day, wid u guys...

jus feels awesome !

D life is still goin thru so many ups n downs...been months i practised guitar..been months, i took my harmonium out for riyaaz...been months, i thought of anythin else except We Volunteer...been been beeen...i gtta accept i cant have it all..n will gt wat fate's gt in store

fr me... so i need nt crib abt d time gne by..need nt feel guilty of wat lisa said to me...need nt wrry abt wat'll happen to all dese poor lil' kids once i move outta chd..need nt wrry, whether i'll be able to do somethin construvtive towards dad's dream or nt !!

i need nt...rite ?? yea...i guess not...

atleast, wid dat thought, i can sleep wid much more ease ! gnite :)

n yea...i'm back ;D

Back to Being happy !!!

hey pplllll !! i knwbeen quite irregular abt bloggin in d past few months..bt nw..i promise i wont! (CAUTION: i've said dat a dozen times earlier too :p) ....

ok !! comin to d main subject -- "i'm HAPPY!!!"..hmm..why..how..wat..when?? don knw! jus knw dat i am HAPPY , aftr so long!!!!
it's like not dat i havnt been happy n smilin since ages! bt yea, being happy without any reason..which is i guess, actually, d happiness of d inner self ! was being experienced aftr a really long time!

puttin on some loud music..jumpin around..dancin in front of d mirror..tryin to do salsa wid mom :p ! ha..i enjoyed it all !! n bcoz i did all dis aftr so long, it was all d more special !

being dere for new years at goa also wasnt dat excitin fr me ! i mean, yea i did love d beaches..d sand..d clear waters n all!! bt yeah, i wasnt dat excited abt those crazy new year eve's beach shack parties or for goin bird watchin (umm..u knw wat i mean) on d crowded beaches, fr which any ordinary NORMAL guy wud be!!
i preferred being in those deserted areas..where i cud hav some peace wid myself n some close friends!
On New year's too, as planned earlier, it was a nice seafood special dinner wid some close pals, at d beach shack..right in front of the amazingly vast sea n it's more impatient tides..while d candle lights managed to help us see where our plates were :p !
aftr d dinner jus gt some beer cans n sat down to wait fr 12! 12 it struck n d sky was lit all bright by d innumerous fireworks! aftr seein all d jazz n lighting fr 20-30 mins...jus took our cans n lay down on d wooden beds jus metres from d shore....as soon as u lay down n ur eyes turn towards d sky..its jus "AWWWWEEEEEESOME!"
dn knw aftr how long, did i actually gt to notice so many stars together in a crystal clear, all glittery sky! d moon jus aptly placed as d jewel of d crown!

ahh! dat was a gr8 trip! had loads of fun! srry cudnt blog abt it separately..hv been quite busy managin to be able to cope up wid my new year's task list! till nw, jus barely livin upto d dad's office work, gym, web designin vocal riyaaz thingi! still hv to work real hard on d guitar n religious scriptures area!! y cant we hv a 48 hr day wid a single night in it!! wud be so amaziiiiiiiiiin !!!

i wish i wish n i wish!!! chal....as vrinda says "Life mein kabhi na kabhi fight to marni hi padhti hai"

so i guess...nws d time to maaro dat fight !!!! CHARGE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"wanna stress myself out n still be happy! am i god???"

4th jan - turning 21 !!!

yeah!! 4 jan...yesterdaY...d D-day...my "Budday" :) ...jus turned 21! do i feel old?? naaaa....ha...who cares abt d damn figures!

bt yeh, no doubt, yesterday was a special day! a very very special one...n all thnx to my family n frnds!! (yeah, family bfore friends - one of d resolutions i made fr dis yr)!...ha...jus cudnt hav had a better b'day dan yesterday!

7 a.m. in d mornin...dad comes to wake me! me in bed, all cuddled up in d quilt! so obviously, had to grumble n say "i wanna sleep more!!!"....

jus 20 mins later..again d door opens! again ignorin it all, quickly i sink down further into my quilt cave :)

30 secs later!

"SURPRISEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!.......HAPPY BDAY TO UUUUUU!!!"

wow wow wow~!! isha, kaval, keerti, kd, yasho, ankit n ritam standin besides my bed! singin d good ol' b'day song!

hmmm...is it true!??! or a dream!!??! dn knw! me still starin at dem..face = expressionless!! haha...i was quite zapp'd!

den suddenly realisin..it was no dream! kd was realli standin in frnt of me n crackin dose silly bt funny j0kes abt my expressionless face, ha, a small curve appeared on my face!

man! i always loved givin surprises to others! bt yeh, craved fr one too!!! yesterday i finally gt one! n dat too, such a gr8 one! thnx to my buddies n above all, my wonderful sis, isha!

she'd baked a yummy cake too, fr me!!!! n yea, ofcourse, d big handmade card too...wid my pics pasted on it..shwin my journey frm 2 to 21! all d struggle n hard work! blaaaaaah :P

jus a perfect beautiful start to my 21st b'day! cudnt hav been better!

aftr dat...jus went to d gurudwara! felt so gr8 being dere aftr so many days bcoz of my goa trip! loved it even d more!~!

afternoon too jus passd away, sortin out some of d mess at dad's office n den treatin d my gcg gang of frnds to some dhaba lunch'n :)

evenin finally ! me still had no clue of wat to do! knew jus 1 thing - no drinkin tday !!! had enough in goa!

barista 35?? yea..had to be :p ! ha..bt dat was jus fr 5-7 mins...maybe so dat we cud catch a glimpse of bani - dat strange roadie! ha! yea, she lookd pretty strange bt amusin :p

hoggin up d food at ovenfresh finally, dere was still a surprise left ! dese wierdos had bought a present fr me too!! ha..gttin presents on ur b'day aftr u cross ur teenage is kinda strange bt still equally excitin :p

nw d fabindia's red kurta was totally awesome! jus loved it :) n thnk god! it fit me well too !!!!

n d second one was toh totally amazin!!! kaval had gt a fish bowl!! n yea, ofcourse wid 2 couples of fish!!! wow wow wow !! finally me gt a pet!!!!!!!!!!!! actually 4 !!

so aftr returnin back home...i enjoyed settin up d whole fish bowl...cleanin up d stones n all! n den puttin d fishes into it!! deir new homeeeeeee! awww...dey're jus too cute!

sittin dwn n reflectin back upon d day!! i'd never felt dat special!! realliiiii!! was jus such a perfect day..as in fr a bday!! nt fr a normal day bcoz my "FOCUS 2007" has gt loads of things to be achieved dat wudnt leave much time fr barista hangouts n all!!!

bt overalll.....a day dat i jus wudnt frgt!! so, my 21st bday did turn out to b special as i had wanted it to be!!!!!!!!

actually it's d people dat made it all special ... deir love... d way dey expressed it!! didnt knw if i was worth all dat... bt den, jus dint wanna think abt it! it's gud to be selfish at times na :p

"i jus loooooooooooooove my lifee!!!!! thnk u allllzzzzz"